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Half price on everything in Tofo

Everything in Tofo

Half price on everything in Tofo

Mercado do Tofo - half price everything in Tofo right now
Mercado do Tofo – half price everything in Tofo right now

Yip, it’s a half price on everything in Tofo this year…

Let me elaborate.

This exact time last year – R1 could get you 2.8 Meticals.

This time this year – R1 gets you 5.4 Meticals.

Click this link to see it as a graph…http://www.xe.com/currencycharts/?from=ZAR&to=MZN&view=1Y

In fact it was 5.7 a few weeks before Praveen Ghordan was almost lynched by the mob.

And it ain’t gonna change anytime soon, except for the metical worsening as our two governments vie for the title of worst performing currencies on the entire modern world, against the ever climbing US dollar.

Firstly, Praveen is back in, so the Rand looks to stabilise.

Secondly, and most importantly, the subterfuge deals thrown together by the Russians and the French for Mozambique, er Frelimo, to squander (read steal) BILLIONS, will never really be undone. There will always be a dark shadow over the metical thrown by these giants who slay small vulnerable countries like Mozambique, for breakfast.

So a bleak outlook for a bunch of innocent people here in Mozambique. Whilst Gubueza, the architect of the mess he left conveniently in time for Nyuse to wallow in, heads up corporates now, without batting en eyelid in recognition of what he has done to the people of Mozambique.

Prices have started to rise – but how can the people afford them? Electricity was hiked 20% lately. But for now, prices are staying the same. A 2M still costs 60 Mets in the market, even 50 in some shops. That’s uh, R10!

The two countries, the two beautiful and once prosperous countries, have gone to the dogs. Well, the ruling parties, at least. Who have pissed on every lamp post.

But without wondering if it was our fault for giving it all away to the multitudes – led once by the leader of all time, our Mandela, but now by errant puppies – just go on holiday and milk the situation for while it lasts.

Or before the Metical is replaced by the Yen, and the Rand by the Dollar.

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I spent the morning chatting to a robot!?

I spent the morning chatting to a robot!?

I spent the morning chatting to a robot!? It’s a +31 number that rings.  Which is Netherlands, where my girlfriend lives, so I was eagerly expecting her sweet voice, but got something just a tad far to the right.

“Hi, are you Sean (heavy Taiwanese/American combination used with perfect prose) Lange (not so good this time but sounding like Bernhard so ok…)?”, goes the female voice on the other end of the line.

“Yeah”, slowly figuring it’s not my girl.

The voice goes on, “I am something-something from Horizon Investments based in Tokyo…”

Ok, so two strikes already; firstly I am not Shaaan Langer, and secondly the number rang out of The Netherlands. But I like to play these games, so long as they are not extracting any juice from me. ie. bank details, ID, credit card…which are the obvious, but then there are the hidden – income bracket group, occupation, family details, financial details…this is the juice they (the baddies on the far Right) use, to build profiles of us. This information they can then use to target us with their wares.

And then the punch line – “So what exactly do you do at MYDO Fishing?”. Out the park! How the hell they know that? My suspicions were well aroused now.

“Dogsbody.”, replied I suspiciously. She laughed nicely and said, “I don’t understand?”.  “Oh”,  I said, “ok, I am the owner and marketing manager right now.” As I haplessly divulged more company information.

They already knew my number, my name, and where I work. One of my jobs anyway. They knew a lot about me. Obviously an easy task since we are all, all over the interweb. And now they were profiling me with every word I was saying. I had admitted I was the owner. That we had a few staff. That we were manufacturers. That we an active business with a possible chance of investment outlook.

After a while it started getting ugly – “So, Shaan, would you be interested in an investment opportunity of $10 000?”

“Nah, I’m from a small town in Africa lady. I am not interested in investing $1. But how is the weather outside?”. And I repeated the exact question a few times. Over and over. “But how is the weather outside?”.

She started laughing and responding – “I don’t understand?”, but each time, exactly the same, this could have gone for years. It’s what we call a loop and is the vulnerability point of many AI applications.

Gathering of information, and manipulating programmatically on the spot and in an instant, is in our faces right now. The future of marketing banditry is here. There are new technologies on the block. They take potential customers very, very seriously. Programmatically marching into your life. With other programmes researching beforehand specifically, they are given a profile of you to work with. Populating databases with the right questions. Very right questions. Delivered in a theatric environment. Discussed and tuned. Trying to win your trust.

These flow charts must be incredibly complex although it is not much progression to take an existing telesales clerks flow chart and automate  with Articial Intelligence. These guys literally climb into your mind with vague mention of riches to be earned, sweet voices, and confusing accents. They control much of your attention during the call. They paint a world with theatrics and send it to you via an entertaining fresh and perfect voice to imagine where  they are and what they are doing. What they look like. These are all strategies, or tricks, to be exact. Using people with different accents as the target. Appealing to all kinds of emotions – being analysed by software produced by a team of shrinks making on the fly decisions. Millions per second kind of thing.

The resources for AI powered speech robots to be used in sales applications have existed a while now. It’s just been a matter of time before this happened. Imagine the cost of sale savings per target? Instead of a living breathing breeding sales person, you buy a programme of the shelf, and double click!

It’s not all bad, conditional marketing has been around for ages. But when it starts calling you up with a robot and engaging you in your valuable time and they don’t even know you, is. It really is. And when they start asking the exact right questions from a robot programmed with artificial intelligence start specifically focused on perfecting the manipulation of people via prose. Appealing to emotions. Painting them up. Extracting information. Age of desperately aggressive marketing tactics.

Anyway, I started to play the game and turned it around, asking this woman personal questions, and telling her she was a robot.

Same reply. An eerily innocent and genuine sounding laugh. Over and over again.

So I left her in cyberspace laughing. And wrote this story.

Whistlebower!

Then the phone rang again, and trues nuts, she tried two more times. Eventually I got mal and hung up twice.

The phone rang again. 15 minutes into the story. Also from Netherlands. A young cheerful Indian sounding chap, asking the exact same questions. Saying the exact same things.

At least I got a story out of it. Imagine how many people they hit in a day? Gethousands.

Don’t be one of them!

Unless they are selling Mydos! 🙂

 

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Early morning Garrick at The Block

Early morning Garrick at The Block

2015

Yesterday: “When the fish aren’t here, the fish aren’t here”, goes Lawrence Wurznip, as the two of us lament at the lack of action, here at The Block, after endeavouring for weeks now, with lures. Frustration sets in.
Rumours have also been abounding regards a certain angler around here who has caught upwards of twenty Garrick this season, on lures, mainly that Ice Cream plug thing. It’s an easy lure to fish and casts a mile…but obviously, I am intent on catching fish on the Mydo’s which we make here in Port Shepstone.

So day after day, we have been meeting at odd times, and throwing our new 9ft long casters with coffee grinders and 20lb braid (the in thing), towards Chakas Rock, to no avail. Ok not completely. Lawrence had a chase on the Ice Cream plug nearer to Chakas, and I had a good fish on at The Sandspit (the beach on the north side of the Umzimkulu River), for a few seconds, on a Mydo SS Spoon (more about those coming up). I think my drag was too loose for the huge single I was fishing with.

I have a theory that when fishing blind like this (ie not sight fishing where you cast to visible fish on the surface), it takes 200 casts for an average fish, and 400 for a trophy. Well I, at this point, am on a good 200, since I got my new spinning outfit.

Today: I woke at 4am, got a coffee on the go, did some emails, and before long wound along the river road and towards the spot- “The Block” (is a large remnant of the old harbour wall, nicely positioned for live-baiting into the backline, at Port Shepstone, south side of the river mouth).

The wind was(is) howling and Chelsea (assistant editor Jack Russell) and I were the only fishers down there. We sat in the car and watched 6ft waves come peeling down the point – the spring high tide putting us at eye level with these spectacular swells. But in between sets, were the usual south swell lulls, and soon I just had to have a go. “It’s always those times you least expect it…”, I recall Lawrence telling me during one of our *fisholosophy discussions.

I can hardly see close up at all, and changing lures can be a ordeal especially in the twilight zone. And I had no leader with me so yesterday’s Mydo Luck Shot Mini #1 with a 6 inch MacCarthy white pearl jerk tail/bait was going to have go straight on. The westerley wind pumping from behind would help me get the One Ounce lure far enough to fish happily. It’s a very comfortable lure to fish as its nice and light, and you can slow troll it with the intermittent twitch, or crank it up to the top where it makes a plug like commotion but with much more realistic action. I would have liked to fish one of our new Mydo Tarpon SS Spoons, weighing in at 2 Oz and casting like a bullet. But on my third cast with the Mydo Luck Shot Mini #1, retrieving a tad faster as I was preparing for the lure’s surf in over the rocks, bang something took me properly! Beautiful surface strike a few metres in front of my disbelieving eyes! Garrick!

My adrenaline reserve exploded. “What to do?!?!” – so being a total newbie at rock ‘n surfing (ok it was a long time ago!), I did all the wrong things starting straight away! On the boat, we really work our fish. But with rock and surf fishing, it’s all totally different. The fish is always in charge. Anyway, the fish screamed off taking line easily –  I pulled back, at about 2kg’s of drag, and still tightened up more. The fish pulled back at me, and we had a huge argument right there and then as weed and sand-filled waves washed over the line wreaking havoc with my plans and leaving the fish with all the advantages. I pumped the drag some more, and eventually had the fish up against the wall, and after a few risky attempts, got the fish to surf a huge foamy right over the bricks and into that treacherous pool of whitewater at the inside base of The Block – another completely wrong thing to do, and now I had 50 metres of negotiating this fish through girders and bricks and concrete – all sharp-edged! And still on my own in the near dark.

But this fish was hooked well, we rig the Mydo Luck Shot Mini # 1 with a 7/0 stainless O’Shaugnessy for big fish, and as I negotiated the length of the wall back to the bridge, I was able to keep it’s head uppish and guide it all the way to the beach, where I ran in and got completely soaked, but pulled the fish out by it’s tail. With no-one to witness (ha ha). And because the river mouth is closed so we can’t launch, this Garrick came home to be enjoyed as all sorts of meals. By the family and guests at the Umzimkulu Marina. It is also my one and only garrick from the side.

When I got back to the car to show Chelsea, she wasn’t even interested, all curled up in my wetsuit on the back seat. It was still too dark for photos, but I snapped one, and then noticed, that the braid had let go at the lure. Amateur. And very lucky! You can cut any braid by dragging it back and forth on the edge of a brick and in no time it’s gone. It must have been the Garrick’s sharp little grabbing teeth that went through it like that.

As I left, one of the real Garrick catchers from around here – Vinod, came down the hill in his custom beach buggy with built-in live bait well, past the lighthouse and I couldn’t resist showing him my fish. And telling him the story. He laughed a lot and then advised me – next time – let the fish run away from the bricks and into the bay. Then holding the rod up high and keeping light tension, get yourself to the beach where you can handle the fish without the risk of the line touching the rocks. Vinod was very surprised that the fish made it to the beach at all this morning – and with no leader?! Thanks Vinod!

Tomorrow: Buzz me on umzimkulu@gmail.com or +27793269671 if you would like to join us for this awesome 2015 Garrick season. The fish are everywhere right now, but haven’t spawned as of yet. When they do, it’s absolute madness, check out National Garrick Day for an idea. After they spawn they will all head back down the coast into The Cape where they hang out for summer, and then again next year in April/May, start trickling back up the coast for The Sardine Run and the cycle continues.
* fishing and the philosophy behind catching fish (refer Wurznip/Lange 2015)


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Huge wave at Port Shepstone almost swallows boat

Huge wave at Port Shepstone almost swallows boat

A great example of sensationalism being used to grab attention. This post received thousands of views.

An Instagram feed journal of the activities of The Sardine News activities…

Watch the video here

Huge wave at Port Shepstone almost swallows Marc and Sean Lange whole! # umzimkulu # big wave surfing # thesardine # roosta

Huge wave at Port Shepstone almost swallows Marc and Sean Lange whole! # umzimkulu # big wave surfing # thesardine # roosta - Instagram Journal

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Shaloha Uploaded

Shaloha Uploaded

Well, we have tried this before but were ruthlessly taken out of the sky by arguing IP control freaks. But luckily we are almost caught up with the content lost…the uploading of Shaloha by Bruce Gold and co, was one of those missing news items…

This video movie was shot from the West Coast to the East Coast of Southern Africa, by Bruce Gold and friends, in 2009. It is the end of a series of surf videos by the SurfTV organisation of old, made to pay tribute to, and preserve the heritage and culture, of travelling surfers. And who else but Bruce Gold, portraying Brucifire, to put the message across.

Rough roads, hard times, breakdowns, injury, disease, blowouts…and finally endless supplies of tropical and sub-tropical peeling and barreling waves.

The first few chapters are good to go and we will throw a few more later…enjoy!

“The journey’s over, the journey never began…!”, Brucifire.

“Like Jah, surfing will provide…”, Roosta

“Believe….don’t believe..!”, Shonalanga

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